My Hilarious Trip to the ER

I wish I could have had a camera with me!  I wasn't feeling well at work yesterday - I had a wicked pain in my abdomen.  I sat most of the day and just when I thought it was going away, it would start right in again when I started walking.  By last night, I was curled up in the fetal position.  When my husband came home, he suggested that I go to the ER. My mother had ovarian cancer and I have a history of cysts, so I need to be careful...

I ended up going even though I knew it wasn't going to be anything.  I probably had gas for cryin' out loud.  But, I went. 

So they made me have the "exam" and the doctor comes back in the room and suggests that I have a CT scan for my appendix.  I didn't want to waste anyone's time, but agreed because I was already there.  I might as well do it.  They told me that they were going to send the tech to the room to come get me.

The tech comes in the room and says, "Are you ready to go? Can you walk?"

I realize I am in a backless gown with no panties on because I had just had the "exam".  Even though I knew the answer, I asked, "Can I get dressed?"  He looked at me kind of funny and said, "Well, you can wrap that sheet around you."

So, I wrapped it around me and start shuffling out the door.

He leads me down a hallway and then into the main hospital to go get the elevator.  THERE ARE MEN WASHING THE FLOORS as I'm shuffling by!  All I can think at this moment is, "Don't drop the sheet.  Don't drop the sheet.  Don't drop the sheet".

We get in the elevator and the tech starts trying to make small talk.  REALLY BUDDY?  I don't want to talk right now!  I DON'T HAVE UNDERWEAR ON!  This is great, I am walking in a basement to the CT scan room with a complete stranger and I have no underwear on...

So, I the CT scan is done with no problems...(yay).  I then had to shuffle all the way back to the other end of the building with my sheet wrapped around me and dragging on the floor.  All the while thinking, "I don't have panties on.  I don't have panties on..." 

I wait in the room for the results.  I hear the physician's assistant talking to people outside my room and she's pretty loud.  I hear her say, "My CT scan results are back and they're negative, so now what?"  I hear a guy answer her (quite loudly), "She's probably just constipated". 

My jaw drops open...I feel like a complete idiot!  I wanted to open the door and yell, "I am right here! and BTW - That really isn't a problem for me!" 

Needless to say, I was discharged pretty quickly and told to follow up with my PCP.  I laughed all the way home :))